Tear Grants

I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone. So, "thank you". I truly appreciate the kindnesses that have been extended to me since my arrival earlier this year.

But that aside, it must have become quite obvious...

[Tear got so much cute stuff for Christmas. She appreciates it, really! But her self-image might be suffering just a little bit right now. ^^; (Old habits die hard.) Also she's never gotten so many gifts from people before. Ever. Culture shock? Very much, yes.]

[Private; Unhackable.]

Fay, Raven, Mokona, and so many others.

I was told that it was foolish to cut myself off from everyone else, and I see now that that would have been a stupid thing to do. Even still, it's hard to accept that I may never see these individuals again. It's entirely possible that when I leave this place, I won't even remember them at all, or anything else that happened while I was here, for that matter.

It's thoughts like these that lead me to understand Van just a little. There were people on Auldrant who clung to the Score and relied on it to do even the most mundane things. They never thought for themselves, but instead allowed others to decide how they should live their lives.

But shouldn't people be allowed to make their own choices?

Even if "Memento" and "Eden" think that they're doing everyone some sort of favor, so many things have been stripped from us. We never decided that.

It's unfortunate that I wasn't able to share this holiday with all of you, but what I regret the most is not being able to say "goodbye".

I suppose it was bound to happen eventually.

It seems that the name of one of the first people I encountered here has disappeared from the apartment listings. I only spoke with him once, but it was Wilhelm that got me thinking about our situation on this island. He compared it to a stage, with each of us representing one of the players, or one of the "props" I think was what he actually called it.

I hope he's doing well, wherever he is. I wonder if the people who vanish really do get to go home? I want to believe it... I want that to be the case... But I don't wish to go back that way, not unless I can guarantee that all my memories are going back with me. I don't want to leave anything behind. I won't leave anything behind.

Maybe he'd be happy to know that the rest of us are still here to complete this play.
For me, though, it seems more like a chess game, since there are obviously at least two sides to the board. I won't give up, and I won't let myself become someone else's pawn.

"Perhaps we can make it to the other side of the board so as to become a piece of our choosing", huh? I have no intention of becoming a queen, but maybe if my role became that of a knight, I could atleast stand up against this island's script.

...no, I'm thinking too hard again, aren't I?

And the cherry trees... I was really worried when that man started destroying them all. But the strangest thing happened. They suddenly regenerated as if it was nothing.

Oh well, I'm glad. I don't think I could ever get tired of looking at them, although I find their aroma is a little dizzying in the areas where they're grouped together in large numbers.