[Hymn #21]

[nightcrossed]

Well, that wasn't so bad. I could have done without sweeping, but learning the proper way to prepare tea was interesting enough. I never knew it was such a complicated process or that I had been doing it completely wrong all this time. It's a little embarrassing... I guess I'm not very graceful...

[Tear conveniently leaves out the part about her shoulders, arms, and fingers being stiff from working all day. You might not want to touch her. (You probably shouldn't either way.)]

I've been thinking on things again. It seems like some of the residents are trying to make a new life on this island and others are clinging to the past they can't remember...

What do I want to do? There doesn't seem to be a right or best decision.

Do I want to search for yesterday's me?
Or do I want to simply start over?
Or do I want to incorporate aspects of both of those people?

The problem is not knowing who I was or what I did. There's the possibility that I won't even approve of her (ie. the person I was) after meeting new people and experiencing different things here. At the same time, however, I don't think I can abandon her. Not only is she directly related to the person I am now (...I mean, she must be, logically speaking...), but there's also the fact that I will inevitably remember who she was and what was important to her. As for both? I don't know. I have no desire to contradict myself and I feel that's entirely possible. Then again, I've probably said hypocritical things already.

I have to wonder if people are waiting for me back home. I keep dreaming about Van. What would my brother be doing if he was in my situation, and has he even noticed my disappearance? (Do we even disappear?)

There's not much point in worrying about it, but it's difficult to ignore questions like this.

Anyway.

Mokona suggested that I try a fruit dish next. I was leaning towards pineapples or strawberries since I experimented with apples last time. Does anyone remember any of their favorite dishes from home?

Also, it seems like a family of birds have made a nest in one of the hanging baskets outside the cafe. They're really lively and seem to be singing all the time. I think the eggs will probably hatch soon. (I'm no expert, but...) Please be mindful of them if you visit the cafe, since I don't want them to abandon their eggs. I bet the chicks will be really fluffy and adorable. <3

Comments

[frumpyface.livejournal.com]

The problem with starting a new life is that those memories return, whether you want them to or not. And then there is the issue of resolving your old memories with your new ones. Incorporation seems to be the only way to go.

[a-severed-fate.livejournal.com]

Yes, that seems to be the case, although it may be the most difficult... I guess a safe balance of the two can be reached eventually.

...
...

[She's trying to decide if she's met Erk before.]

[frumpyface.livejournal.com]

You can't start a new life entirely. Memories return, as I said. It's simply foolish to cling to a life that you know nothing about, at least at first. The trick, as you remember more, is to find a balance, depending on your memories. You may want to go back to your home, you may find this a better place to be. But it makes no sense to neglect the chance you have in the present for what you had in the past.

[a-severed-fate.livejournal.com]

[Sigh.] This is all starting to make my head hurt. Either way, I don't like it. I guess I'll just have to do what I can.

...this is going to sound rude, but haven't I met you before...?

[frumpyface.livejournal.com]

Erk. Please dispense with the obligatory shock and confusion.

[a-severed-fate.livejournal.com]

...
...
...oh! Oh, I apologize.

I thought you were a woman the first time I met you. The moonlight must have been playing tricks on me.

[frumpyface.livejournal.com]

...no worries. I seem to be getting that reaction a lot lately.

[angel-crow.livejournal.com]

Um, Tear? Could you summarize all that?

[a-severed-fate.livejournal.com]

I apologize, Cooro. I was rambling...

A summary? A summary would be that I'm having an identity crisis and I'm looking for new recipes for the cafe.

I suppose that will do... even if "identity crisis" isn't precisely the wording I would have liked to use...

[angel-crow.livejournal.com]

Identity crisis? How come?

You should make more stuff using apples! The last one was really good!

[a-severed-fate.livejournal.com]

I guess I'm just overthinking. When I'm not busy with work, I seem to get lost in my thoughts. It's difficult not to dwell on having amnesia. I guess I haven't quite adjusted to this place yet. I still feel a bit on edge.

You really like apples, Cooro. I'll keep that in mind. Maybe I'll try something cold next time, since it'll start getting warmer soon.

[angel-crow.livejournal.com]

But even if we don't remember things, we're still us, right? I still like apples even though I don't remember much, and Husky still acts like Husky even though he doesn't remember anything at all.

That sounds great!

[a-severed-fate.livejournal.com]

Yes, I guess so... I still like cute things, and I'm still afraid of ghosts... There are probably other things, too, that I just haven't realized yet. I guess I really am worrying needlessly about this.

Really? That's good.
I'll let you try it first since you like apples so much.

[For the record, Tear's favorite foods are apparently apples and milk.]

[lillovefreak.livejournal.com]

Black Pretzels!

[a-severed-fate.livejournal.com]

Black pretzels?

...
...
What are they?

[lillovefreak.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure... All I remember is that they were a snack food from the Netherworld.

[a-severed-fate.livejournal.com]

...it'll be difficult to make them if you don't remember what they taste like. I'll see what I can find in the library and we'll go from there. Maybe if I try enough different recipes, one of the tastes will be familiar to you.

So you're from a place called the Netherworld, Flonne?

[lillovefreak.livejournal.com]

A friend just mentioned them to me. I'm afraid I don't remember very much else about it...

Oh, no, I'm from Celestia, the world of angels. The Netherworld is the world of demons.

[a-severed-fate.livejournal.com]

Angels and demons...

Ah, I see. Well, I can still try to find out information aout them, I suppose.

[apurposetolive.livejournal.com]

It sounds to me like you're thinking too much.

[a-severed-fate.livejournal.com]

It helps me cope and it passes the time...

[apurposetolive.livejournal.com]

If you need to pass the time, you should find something to do, don't spend your time thinking about stuff like this. I mean, I've been here, what, five months now? Maybe six? I haven't been keeping track. But anyway, I just let things come. Don't worry about whether you'll be different now than you were before you came here. Either way, you're still you.

[a-severed-fate.livejournal.com]

I guess you're right.

[Ponders even though she needs to stop doing that.]

Well, my aim is still pretty bad... I suppose I could always work on that. Having weapons and not knowing how to use them very well is irresponsible of me anyway.

[apurposetolive.livejournal.com]

Aim, huh? Did you come with a bow or something?

(No, that's Natalia, Luke. =D)

[a-severed-fate.livejournal.com]

No, not a bow. A staff and three knives.